All weekend actually
This is a hard week of the year for me.
Tomorrow it will have been 11 years, and when I allow myself to relive those moments in my mind, it feels like it happened yesterday.
My heart beats too fast
I can feel the adreneline pumping through my veins
My eyes tear up before I even realize it
Walking through the door and hearing the words
Crumbling to the floor in a mess of sobs
Packing my bag without really knowing what I'm putting in it
Driving through the night
Walking into the too brightly lit hospital
Later walking into the too dark and too quiet house
Somehow fumbling through the worst week of my life
My heart still aches
Even 11 years later
And this year I add the additional pain
Of PC's wedding anniversary falling on the same day
It seems harder this year than last year for sure
So a sad
quiet
mellow
down week
for me
xxx,
DD