Granny Panty is not going to tell you everything about herself just yet. After all, we've hardly been introduced. But I will answer a few questions today.
Q: "Where are you, Mistress Granny?"
A: Oooh, I like the way you address me so respectfully, so I'll tell you I currently reside in the United
States. But I spend as much time as my modest income permits in France, the U.K. and Italy.
Q: "Are you married?"
A: Not at this moment. But I have often been in the past. I can't tell you exactly how many times. I started as a teenager and I truly can't remember all of my ex-husbands' names at the drop of a hat now. My children claim I've had seven husbands. Maybe that's true, but I recall some rather murky situations that might make my total higher. I think the number is right up there with Elizabeth Taylor's and Zsa-Zsa Gabor's scores. I call all of my ex-husbands "Bob," or "Robert (Roe-bair)" when I am in France and "Roberto" when I am in Italy so I can tell stories about them without having to keep all their names straight. Granny is a resourceful, independent woman and never accepted alimony, by the way. When a love affair is over, Granny cuts her losses immediately, packs up and moves on. She's a true Romantic.
Q: "From what profession are you retired?"
A: Granny was formerly a high school French teacher.
Q: "What is your nationality?"
A: Granny's mother was a French war bride and her father an American soldier. Vive le Marshall Plan!
Q: "Are you really a grandmother?"
A: Yes, and my little angels are the light of my life!
Q: "What characteristics do you look for in a partner?"
A: A sense of humor, honesty, kindness and a boundless imagination for play.
I hope your curiosity is a little satisfied! But Granny believes a little mystery is a very good thing.