Who I want to meet: the most interesting man in the world.

The real one.  Not the Dos Equis ad actor.  The real-life most interesting man in the world.

And when I meet him, I'm gonna match him drink for drink, story for story.  I've been preparing for our meeting for a lifetime.  I'm gonna play Ava Gardner to his Hemingway.

I was thinking today:  maybe when my children and grandchildren try to explain me, I come off sounding a little like Auntie Mame.  And I think that's maybe not such a bad thing.  I grew up to become my own Auntie Mame, off to tour the world and have crazy adventures!

Hard bodies. Soft bodies.

Granny P was thinking about that issue.  When I do a photo shoot, I have to make sure for about a day before to avoid any tight-fitting clothing because my skin is so soft at my age that I'll have clothing marks on it that will show up in the photos if I don't take care.  For that matter, sometimes I wake up and see even the creases in the sheets or pillow cases have left marks on my face and body!

That's what aging and loss of collagen and muscle mass do.  And I was thinking, you know, being soft is really not such a bad thing!  Our culture and the media seems to have put "hard bodies" on a pedestal for a couple of decades now.  I guess my question is this:  "What's wrong with a soft body?"

Soft bodies feel great to the fingertips.  I love it when I'm told my skin is extra, extra soft.  And I know why that is.  It's not due to any miracle creams, lotions or potions.  It's because I'm older, and naturally soft.  Hard, sculpted bodies and the tightness and elasticity of youthful physiques have their own beauty and their own charms, certainly.

But there's nothing wrong at all with being velvety soft to the touch, Granny P thinks!

Kinks and fetishes, oh, my!

Everybody's got 'em, you know, just like everybody's going to have to go to the bathroom eventually!

Granny is not going to reveal to you what her personal little kinky interests and exciting fetishes are.  But I leave clues.  You can sometimes tell by the props I use in my pictures and by my poses a little about what might give my own erotic imagination that little extra "oomph" that makes life fun.

I find what turns people on and what they enjoy seeing pictures of eternally fascinating.  You can always make suggestions about what you'd like to see me pose with, or wearing, in my pinups, you know!  But if your well-intentioned, good faith wish-list offends Granny's delicate sensibilities or is beyond the boundaries of her personal comfort or moral beliefs, then it won't happen.  Granny's pretty much an old-fashioned girl at heart, and she always listens to that little voice inside her.  (Remember in the cartoons, some character once said, "Get thee behind me, Satan, and don't push!"?)

But isn't it fun, for instance when you're standing in the grocery check-out line, to imagine what the people in queue with you are into?  Police uniforms? Mashed potatoes?  Inflatable pool toys?  Fabric swatches?  And remember, you just never know what you might be doing or wearing that's turning somebody on.  Isn't that a great thought?!  Doesn't that just make you smile?

Whee!

Granny P loves fooling around with her photographs!  But it takes a lot of time to crop, color adjust and upload them here and to the flickr site.

And Granny P loves to get fan mail!  It makes all the time spent at photo shoots, getting the wardrobe together and editing the photographs worth it if you enjoy them.

But I was thinking, while reading some of my fan mail.  And maybe there's a profound truth in here in what I was thinking and wanted to share with you.  Granny P is exactly like the women in your lives, your wives, lady friends, mothers and grandmothers.  And that's why I put up my pictures for you to enjoy, and why I tantalize you with tales of my burlesque dance classes and the naughty underwear and props I buy.  It's to remind you that women, just like men, are sexual beings, and we remain sexual even long after the Change of Life.  We deserve love, affection and intimacy just like the younger gals.  And we might even know a few tricks those youngsters don't!

And I was thinking:  you know, you could give the woman in your life the gift of some fun toys, costumes and things like I enjoy playing with.  Think what fun the two of you could have playing together!  Think what naughty things you could get up to together! Most women love to come out and play with the person who loves them.  Usually, you just have to ask.

Now go have some fun of your own this three-day weekend!  Don't let me have all of it!