... would take offense if he knew I'm making an Easter burlesque costume out of an American Apparel tank dress and ten yards of fringe, which I'm dyeing green? I was in there the other day buying the dress and a couple of thongs and chatting with the nice young man who was ringing my purchase up, telling him American Apparel thongs are what I always use on stage and that they're the very best for my purposes. He said he had a feeling a lot of strippers shop at American Apparel, because where else would you wear certain things like the aluminum foil-colored hot shorts that they sell? I often laugh at the pictures on the American Apparel website catalog. It's like the next generation is entirely made up of total hootchies! And they've been running a pretty amusing "best male/female ass" contest recently, to find the owners of the derrières that will be their new models.
I think American Apparel should hire me as a senior citizen spokesmodel. I can't tell you how much of their stuff I wear in real life or adapt for the stage; love the colors and simple designs. But knowing that an elderly burlesquer is wearing the same clothes might be a buzzkill for the young hipsters!