Q: "Are you a man or a woman?"
A: Oh, that's one of my favorite questions of all time! Can I give you several responses?
Number 1: Yes.
Number 2: I am a LADY.
Number 3: I hope I am what Gerard Depardieu once said Catherine Deneuve is. "She is the man I always wanted to be," to paraphrase from his original remark in French.
Number 4 (the l980's response): More woman than you'll ever have, and more man than you'll ever be! (Don't you just love that?! It's so MEAN! People used to say that all the time to each other in the clubs Back in the Day.)
Don't you find this to be true of yourself, too?
This question makes me think of a lovely song -- do you know it? "For Today I am a Boy" by Antony & The Johnsons. I prefer it to Beyoncé's "If I Were a Boy."
Q: "Are you gay, straight or bi?"
A: Again, thank you so much for asking. I am delighted you have observed that Granny Panty is still a sexual being at her age! The answer is, resoundingly, YES! And it entirely depends upon who it is I am having a relationship with, thank you. Don't you find that to be true of yourself also?
Or do you think of yourself in percentages? Someone once told me they were 86% straight or something like that. A numerical value on the spectrum, in other words. I thought that was cute.
One of my young friends recently remarked, "I assume everyone is gay until they come out to me as straight." I love that.
Q: "Have you had any 'work' done?"
A: Hmm. I had my tonsils out when I was nine. And my impacted wisdom teeth removed. That's all there is to report!
Q: "Are you Lady Gaga's grandmother?"
A: I am so flattered that you asked! I don't think so, but then again, I do have two sons -- so who knows?! Maybe she's my bastard granddaughter. If so, I am deeply blessed!
Q: "Would you consider making a video where at the end you somehow end up sitting smack in the middle of a big, white frosted cake?"
A: YES! Absolutely! I love this idea! Someday you'll probably see me doing just that on YouTube.
I love answering your questions and it makes me happy to know I sometimes pique your curiosity! Ask away, and as long as your questions are sincere and respectful, I'll probably answer them!
Showing posts with label Reader questions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Reader questions. Show all posts
Loyal readers pose questions.
Granny Panty is not going to tell you everything about herself just yet. After all, we've hardly been introduced. But I will answer a few questions today.
Q: "Where are you, Mistress Granny?"
A: Oooh, I like the way you address me so respectfully, so I'll tell you I currently reside in the United
States. But I spend as much time as my modest income permits in France, the U.K. and Italy.
Q: "Are you married?"
A: Not at this moment. But I have often been in the past. I can't tell you exactly how many times. I started as a teenager and I truly can't remember all of my ex-husbands' names at the drop of a hat now. My children claim I've had seven husbands. Maybe that's true, but I recall some rather murky situations that might make my total higher. I think the number is right up there with Elizabeth Taylor's and Zsa-Zsa Gabor's scores. I call all of my ex-husbands "Bob," or "Robert (Roe-bair)" when I am in France and "Roberto" when I am in Italy so I can tell stories about them without having to keep all their names straight. Granny is a resourceful, independent woman and never accepted alimony, by the way. When a love affair is over, Granny cuts her losses immediately, packs up and moves on. She's a true Romantic.
Q: "From what profession are you retired?"
A: Granny was formerly a high school French teacher.
Q: "What is your nationality?"
A: Granny's mother was a French war bride and her father an American soldier. Vive le Marshall Plan!
Q: "Are you really a grandmother?"
A: Yes, and my little angels are the light of my life!
Q: "What characteristics do you look for in a partner?"
A: A sense of humor, honesty, kindness and a boundless imagination for play.
I hope your curiosity is a little satisfied! But Granny believes a little mystery is a very good thing.
Q: "Where are you, Mistress Granny?"
A: Oooh, I like the way you address me so respectfully, so I'll tell you I currently reside in the United
States. But I spend as much time as my modest income permits in France, the U.K. and Italy.
Q: "Are you married?"
A: Not at this moment. But I have often been in the past. I can't tell you exactly how many times. I started as a teenager and I truly can't remember all of my ex-husbands' names at the drop of a hat now. My children claim I've had seven husbands. Maybe that's true, but I recall some rather murky situations that might make my total higher. I think the number is right up there with Elizabeth Taylor's and Zsa-Zsa Gabor's scores. I call all of my ex-husbands "Bob," or "Robert (Roe-bair)" when I am in France and "Roberto" when I am in Italy so I can tell stories about them without having to keep all their names straight. Granny is a resourceful, independent woman and never accepted alimony, by the way. When a love affair is over, Granny cuts her losses immediately, packs up and moves on. She's a true Romantic.
Q: "From what profession are you retired?"
A: Granny was formerly a high school French teacher.
Q: "What is your nationality?"
A: Granny's mother was a French war bride and her father an American soldier. Vive le Marshall Plan!
Q: "Are you really a grandmother?"
A: Yes, and my little angels are the light of my life!
Q: "What characteristics do you look for in a partner?"
A: A sense of humor, honesty, kindness and a boundless imagination for play.
I hope your curiosity is a little satisfied! But Granny believes a little mystery is a very good thing.
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