I hate the fucking Friend Zone. That's my word that's the worse thing ever since Paula Abdul had that cartoon cat singing in her video. "Opposites Attract" my ass, kitty. YOUR ass was going into the friend zone!!Let me back up...
The Friend Zone is that place where a person, usually a man, finds himself when a woman that he finds attractive decides he is no longer available to get the panties. It's the place where sexual becomes platonic against the will and wish of another. All of a sudden (to them) you're a "friend".
I'm a visual person so usually when I hear "The Friend Zone" I think of those three villains in Superman 2 (Geek alert) getting trapped in that pseudo glass like thing called The Phantom Zone which was the prison for the worst criminals on Superman's home planet. They go flying off into space trapped in an abyss never to be free.
Told you it was a geek alert Except in the movie, "General Zod", Pale-Chick and Mute Guy with Big Chin got released, headed to Earth and proceeded to make Superman's life hell.
So usually when I feel like I've been trapped in the friend zone, I imagine myself spinning away into an abyss, screaming my head off, as all wishes, thoughts and fantasies of sex get further and further away.
One more thing about that Phantom Zone shit. Was it only me or was it funny as hell that they had the baddest muthafuckas on Krypton held captive in two moving hula hoops?
The only time I've EVER been held captive by a hula hoop is when I saw Beyonce doing the hula hoop in her "Work It Out" video. Damn, why did they stop airing the original version where the camera just lingered on the exposed crack of her ass as she worked those plentiful hips!?? Shit, that was probably B's way of saying, "you even try to get this bootyliciousness and you're going into The Friend Zone!"
I digress...sortaMen, I don't care how settled, never want to feel like they're in The Friend Zone, especially with a fine woman. That's tantamount to being called asexual, a neuter, shit you might as well be Richard Simmons. Well your friend The Fury has been an often inductee into the Friend Zone. Yeah, I know. WTF!? LOL
I can name quite a few women wherein I've seen my chances slip away, sometimes right in front of my face as they've imprisoned me into Friendom. Don't get me wrong, I'm a great friend. I've given good advice to women on what they should do about their boyfriend, beau, husband, guy they wanna fuck, etc. But it's never, EVER worse than when you're listening to someone talk about that stuff and YOU want to fuck them and thought you still had a shot.
Once I was talking to an attractive friend (yeah might as well call her that, fuck it) on the train. She was looking quite a bit of tasty. Nice little sundress, chocolate skin, her legs longer than a history lecture with the dress riding high up on her sexy thigh. I noticed she kept scratching.
"You got the cooties? Do I need to move away before your fleas and ticks get me?" I cracked.
"No. I have bug bites. I was doing it in the park."
"Doing it in the park..?"
"Yeah and I guess I got bitten. Anyway..." She shrugged and continued talking about whatever it was we were discussing before the forestry fuck distraction.
Did she just tell me she was fucking some guy in a park? Nah!
Then she went back to the forestry fuck.
"I was way too distracted. I was scared people could see me cuz we were out there."
"Yeah. I'm surprised you don't have bites, here..." I touched her calf. "Here." I touched her knee. "Here" I touched as high up on her bare thigh as I could with my finger pushing up her dress slightly.
She giggled and shook her head. I remember saying something about if it were me then she 'wouldn't have even thought about bug bites.' She laughed. Then changed the subject. I think she even asked me to not even bring it up again. But hold the fucking park ranger phone, Boo Boo...Did I just get locked into the Friend Zone?? Me thinks I did.
We continued talking with a slight bit of flirting here and there, but I remember sitting there dumbstruck. This of course, is when I start imagining how good she would've looked bent over in the park. Her long limbs rising to her firm apple butt with my firm thick cock buried deep inside her. I could almost hear her cum voice, it sounded like a mix of two sounds I'd heard before, her laugh and her grunt (at a bad smell on the train). Dammit that should've been me sucking her small but firm tits. Her nipples were a near mystery because even when she was cold, they never poked out. I guess she had the itty bitty titty complex and always wore that vicky secret bra that could contain even the angriest nipple. But I was soon back to reality...
There's no way a woman would admit to someone they were interested in fucking that they had just had sex with another guy, in a park no less. That's something you share with a friend...or worse a buddy. Don't get me started talking about buddies...
Perhaps, it was her way of saying she could be adventurous. Maybe she was auditioning me to see my reaction. Maybe she was trying to make me jealous since I had never taken that extra step... Who was I fooling? Friend Zone.
I hate the fucking friend zone. Once a very attractive woman offered me her number and said "let's be friends" To which I replied "I have a moratorium on friends, baby." She was offended, but hey, I have enough friends. I really do. And that's not to say, I can't be friendly or be a great business partner or a shoulder to cry on, advice giver, whatever. But if you're sexy as hell and you know what it is (ie. We started talking in an amorous way) don't offer me your friendship. Let's hurry up and get to the part where you're riding me on a park bench or bent over holding a tree with ME behind you. I have plenty of friends and they're either mad that I don't call them enough or they're still upset that I had sex with one of THEIR friends and they had to put up with her calling them crying like "why the fuck Fury don't want me?"
Ladies, here's my advice, if you KNOW the guy wants it and he once had a chance at getting it and now he doesn't, tell him right away then disappear. And for God's sake don't tell him while you're doing your hula hoop in a half top and low rise jeans. That's just not fair.
The name is The Fury and if I get trapped in The Phantom Zone, I'm fucking the Pasty Chick because General Zod and Mute Guy with Big Chin are just her "friends".