He came to my house. We were sitting on opposite sides of the room just talking. He came over to me and kissed me. I just melt when he kisses me. I can't even think straight anymore when he does that. The whole world disappears.....it is just me and him.
I wanted this. I wanted us to just go back to being us. There are a lot of complicated parts to us - but back to normal is what we know - it is what we can handle, what we can deal with.
What I did NOT want was to think we were okay only to have him go back next week to saying that we can't be us anymore. So I stopped him.....ok sorta stopped him. His hands were still busy and our faces were less than an inch apart, but I did ask him to please not do this if he was going to go back to this not being okay tomorrow or next week.
He said he was sure he wanted this but if I didn't then we could stop. Um....hello......
We didn't stop.
I can't say that the hard stuff is over - but I am sure that he loves me.....and I love him.
I have immense respect for him. I know that it is so hard to work on a marriage with someone who blames you for everything. I've been there. But he has to give it another shot or he will not be able to look himself in the mirror and be proud of who he is.
Bottom line is.......I love him and I want him to be happy. He needs to do this. I am just so happy that he still wants me.
xxx,
DD